Sex crimes in Sweden – Can you teach men not to rape?

RAPE

A myth circulating the internet states that in Sweden the majority of rapes are assault rapes, and that this is due to immigration from muslim countries.

First things first: It is true that immigrants are overrepresented when it comes to rape. A study by the Crime Prevention Council (BRÅ) from 1996 showed they were 4 times more likely to be registered for the offense, and this primarily concerning immigrants from arab countries. A follow-up study from 2005 more or less confirmed the results of the previous one, and so have studies from Denmark and Norway.

However, both Swedish reports showed that the majority of immigrants (85-88%) weren’t registered for crimes what so ever. These numbers shouldn’t be used to smear an entire group of people, they should be used to highlight problematic tendencies so we can counteract crime. If you want a further analysis of these statistics you can watch the video I did on this topic, I go over it extensively there.

There is truth to the notion that immigrants rape more than Swedes. My personal estimation is that approximately half of all rapes in Sweden are conducted by the immigrant minority which makes up 20% of the population. It’s also true that immigrants are more likely to be convicted of crimes due to stereotypes and prejudice within the justice system, but I don’t think that’s enough to explain the overrepresentation.

However, it’s also problematic when statistics get misinterpreted and blown out of proportion to the point where it’s ridiculous. It’s blatantly untrue that 77% of rapists are muslims, and the majority of rapes in Sweden are not assault rapes.

It’s said that 63% of all rapes are committed by a total stranger. This is the result of a misunderstanding. The number is pertaining to “sexual crimes”, a label which includes things like rape, flashing, prostitution, trafficking, molestation, sexual coercion and child pornography.

rapereserc

In 63% of the sexcrimes, the perpetrator was completely unknown to the victim, in 25% of the cases the perpetrator was an acquaintance, and in 11% of the cases the perpetrator was a closely-related person.

34% of sexcrimes were considered severe enough to the point where they would qualify as attempted, or completed, sexual coercion or rape. The safety study also makes sure to clarify that sexcrimes which occur in the home, or by someone the person knows, are very likely to be underreported in a study such as this. At the same time, the reported number of sexcrimes where the perpetrator is someone you know is 36% – remember, 25% acquaintance and 11% closely-related.

Thus it is entirely possible that the remaining 2/3 of sexcrimes – which aren’t rapes – are primarily those where the perpetrator is unknown. Do also keep in mind that assault rapes and stranger-sexcrimes are not the same, one other report from BRÅ states that 12% of all reported rapes in Sweden are assault rapes. This is along the same line as public statements made by the police – it’s a minority, not a majority.

Page 10 in a different report about how rape is handled in the legal system states that, more than anything, the suspects are most often someone you have a relationship to – whether it’s someone close like a boyfriend, or someone more shallow like a classmate.

Add to this the fact that assault-rapes are more often reported than rapes by someone close to the person, for obvious reasons. It’s not very easy to report someone that you know as a figure in your day-to-day life, especially if the rapist is a respected member in the community. Some fear not being believed, and some simply don’t want to stir up controversy in their social circle. Imagine having to tell all your friends that the well-liked good-looking guy they all know raped you. Yeah, it’s not a fun thing to do.

Also, since the rape wasn’t brutal and violent the victim might try to rationalize that it wasn’t ”that bad” to save themselves from the traumatic experience. Here’s one account, another, yet another, and one by a man – They all display the same repeating pattern and the reaction is gender neutral. The man describes how he was drugged and raped at a party, and kept dating her afterwards – because the idea of being raped, as a man, was so horrible that he pushed it away and acted like it wasn’t a big deal.

Acquaintance rape victims also tend to blame themselves more, especially if alcohol was involved. Being attacked by a madman in a park sort of takes away the whole aspect of: ”Did I do something to lead him on?” So all in all, acquaintance rape victims are overall less likely to speak out, seek help and tell the authorities. All the talk about “women’s responsibility to avoid rape” probably keeps women from reporting as well.

The amount of unreported rapes, according to Sweden’s Crime Prevention Council, are 90% and it’s assumed that these are primarily acquaintance rapes. It is thus most likely that the saying about how most rapes are done by someone the victim knows isn’t at all a lie. The numbers indicate that it’s primarily “ordinary” men who rape, and not maniacs hiding in bushes.

People don’t understand that a typical rapist is a typical person

He’s an ordinary guy. Or at least he appears to be an ordinary guy. On the inside there is nothing ordinary about him, but on the surface there’s nothing differentiating him from other men when it comes to everyday appearance, behavior and social relations. It can be someone good-looking, or ugly, a loner, or a popular guy with many friends, single, or with a girlfriend, unemployed or in a prestigious profession.

So when someone drags up consent classes as a possible tactic towards rape, and you reply by saying ”Im a nice guy who would never do anything bad”, it really doesn’t mean anything. Most rapists are seemingly nice guys, and certainly see themselves in that light.

A study was done where nearly 1900 college students were asked four questions to determine if they had ever raped someone, or attempted to rape someone, but the study never used the word “rape”. And 120 men, meaning 6%, answered yes. A similar study which surveyed 86 male college students found similar results.

It turns out that as long as the word rape isn’t used, rapists will self-report. Because the word rape is taboo, and most typically rapists do not view what they did as rape.

If the immigrant minority which makes out 20% of Sweden’s population are responsible for half of all rapes, then that means Swedish rapists make out the other half. This is easy to forget when discussing rape, but it would be intellectually dishonest to ignore this and only focus on immigration.

Every so called “women’s issue” is also a man’s issue, because women raise us. They become our sisters, friends and girlfriends. I care about the rape issue because I care about the safety of women, not because I wanna use it as a cheap case against immigration.

In my video about immigrant rape statistics I concluded that there are several solutions to the problem, one being higher demands for assimilation, and the other being consent classes – both for newly arrived migrants as well as swedish youths (meaning both young boys and girls) as part of their general sex education.

This caused certain people to get upset and try dismissing me as a radical feminist. The usual objections took place, which is why I eventually decided to do a video on the topic of consent classes in general.

Everyone knows it’s bad to rape

Saying “everyone knows rape is bad” as a counter-argument is meaningless. The stereotypes of rape are so widespread in society people even become confused when you explain that someone can be raped by a boyfriend, and that violence doesn’t have to be present. They will downplay and say that it isn’t “rape-rape”, despite the fact that rape is simply defined as sex against your consent. The word “rape” is so ridden with misconceptions and taboo that not even the people who force others to have sex with them would use “rape” to describe what they’re doing.

The myths about rape, in practice, give rapists a social license to operate. They allow the perpetrator to hide in plain sight. To rape someone and still stay in the same social circle because she won’t tell anyone, since what happened doesn’t fit the sensationalist stereotype of sexcrime.

The unspoken pact to make excuses for what happened, look for mitigation or patch things over, so you can keep believing that what the people we know do to each other isn’t “rape-rape”. Since it wasn’t violent, and she didn’t fight and scream, it couldn’t be “rape-rape”. Making sure that you have it as comfortable as possible when you don’t have to ponder the possibility that a person you’re fond  of could be capable or something terrible.

The general publics ignorance about rape and what the average perpetrator looks like, is one of the reasons why the majority of sexual assault goes unreported. The stereotype of a rapist enables rape. This is especially true when it comes to child rape. When our society keeps the myth alive that it’s primarily the no-good muslim nigger or the dirty loser who doesn’t have any friends, that’s when a nice 41-year old teacher is given the leeway with a 14-year old victim.

How often don’t we hear the same thing repeated whenever someone gets caught for fucking kids? Interviews with the community saying ”oh we never would have thought that about him, he’s so nice, and shy, and tender. He’s so good with the children, they all like him. He’s not a black monster.”

This myth of the perpetrator makes it possible for the perpetrator to find his victim, and many times the parents just leave the prey over to directly to him. No parent would leave their child in the care of a dirty gypsy, yet they think it’s perfectly fine with the 41-year old nice good-looking teacher, or the enthusiastic camp leader. If you don’t know about the bad things in this world, they can creep up on you.

If men are a part of the problem then men can be a part of the solution. We need to talk about this and acknowledge the fact that rape is a much more complex issue than “those brown people are bad and it’s all about foreign culture, but when whites do it it’s just because they’re psychopaths”.

No, rapists aren’t necessarily psychopathic or suffering mental illness. You look at various studies done on incarcarated rapists and the number of psychopathic offenders vary from approximately 5% to 60% depending on the type of offender.

PSYCHO

Also, the mere fact that the term ”non-psychopathic offender” is used in rape research and statistics should tell you something. One study also concluded that rapists actually have more empathy towards women in general than nonsexual offenders, and the same degree of empathy as nonsexual offenders towards rape victims at the hands of other men. The study concluded that rapists may suppress empathy primarily towards their own victim rather than suffer from a generalized empathy deficit.

In my video about consent education I mention a Swedish book by a crime journalist who interviewed sentenced rapists. In one of the chapters, the author met a woman who had a rapist in her social circle. He had been sentenced by the court for having raped and beaten his former girlfriend, yet numerous friends of hers had dated him throughout the years. They refused to accept that he had raped someone, because according to one of the women: ”It’s just impossible, because he’s good in bed.”

That’s how fucking retarded people are. They think that if someone is a rapist then they’re ALWAYS raping, 24/7, every single time they end up alone with a woman. They’re totally incapable of seeing nuance and understanding the psychological complexity of human beings.

It’s completely possible for a person to be capable of tenderness as well as horrible violence. People wear many different hats throughout their lives; Father, son, librarian, firefighter, caregiver, thoughtful, arrogant, foolish.  We can be any combination at any measure.  What I’m saying is that he could be a caring, funny husband while at the same time being a rapist.  Loving to most people, and cruel to others. Evil does not have a face.

Now, the problem with sex education is that it often only deals with the biological aspects of sex, and not the psychological and social ones. Talking about pregnancy and contraception is great, but don’t stop there. Go on to cover the importance of boundaries, the unrealistic expectations porn creates, how consent works, the different faces of sexual assault.

Teach students that nobody else is allowed to define your needs and what makes you feel unsafe. That’s what people need to talk more about, what healthy sexual relations look like.

And even if it might not reach through to those in the risk-zone of becoming a perpetrator, it would at least educate the general public on how it all works so we can create a society that’s more supporting of victims, instead of hounding the shit out of them because their experiences don’t suit your ignorant prejudice about sexual assault. Steubenville wasn’t unique to America, we’ve had cases like that here in Sweden as well.

The reason I think there’s something to consent education is that they tried it in Kenya, and it gave results. Acquaintance rape dropped by 20%, and the amount of boys thinking that miniskirts were inviting them to have sex dropped by 50%.

Now, Kenya is a backwards fucking country. If you can take a country that backwards and get them to stop raping after just a few classes, imagine what could happen in a more developed country like Sweden or America? I really don’t think we should underestimate what can happen when people get together and talk. It also shows that rape can be the result of skewed perspectives, and that’s something you can change.

But of course, just sex ed on it’s own isn’t going to solve everything. This is just one step of many that need to be taken to eliminate sexual assault. Another step is more scientific research.

The little research that’s been done indicates that what creates a rapist is not one single factor or experience, but a combination of different factors contribute to the development of predatory behavior in a young person. Like for example social inadequacy, various types of exclusion, low self-esteem, attachment issues, family dynamics, violence in the family, and lacking social competence. One study also demonstrated that rape is 2x more likely in societies where gender inequality is normalized.

These factors aren’t automatically going to turn someone into a rapist, but they’re commonly reoccuring. There needs to be more research done to reach more conclusive conclusions.

Last, but certainly not least

A frequent objection I see is: ”Consent classes is one of the biggest feminist insult to a man’s intelligence, especially to a western man.”

First of all, these classes should be for both men and women. Only focusing on men as perpetrators wouldn’t be very inclusive since men can be raped, whether by women or boyfriends, and women can be raped by women as well. Consent is a matter of person-to-person interaction, not gender.

Second of all, who gives a fuck if you think it’s an insult? Your feelings are not an argument. If you’re truly serious about stopping rape then you wouldn’t have a problem sitting in a classroom for 2 hours. If you really care about fixing the issue you wouldn’t have a problem thinking: ”I know this doesn’t apply to me personally but maybe other people aren’t as smart, and there’s no way to know for sure just by looking which person might be in the risk-zone, so I’ll just take one for the team here.”

The feelings of offended men are not worth more than the security of women, for the same reason that the feelings of offended muslims and christians aren’t worth more than freedom of speech. There are certain virtues we as a society need to uphold. And catering to the offended is not one of them.

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7 thoughts on “Sex crimes in Sweden – Can you teach men not to rape?

  1. Thank you for this and you have hit the nail on the head. I get accused of being a SJW on this issue quite a bit. But I am stuck in the position of having to be.

    I spend a lot of time alone in the forest and my husband wants me to stop because someone might now know that a tiny pretty woman is in the woods at dawn. It’s a walk in the forest, no hunting, I shouldn’t have to consider that a possibility, no matter how remote.

    But after a trip to the store two weeks ago a pair of men followed me home. A father and son! (I think). I asked them why they were there and the son said “you looked at me.” The father smiled. I said my husband wanted me to call him and they disappeared.

    I have these encounters now and then and it happens enough that I do think some people need to be specifically taught about entitled attitudes that lead them to harm the vulnerable. I should not be afraid of men. I should get to love them as is my nature without fear.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That sounds pretty fucking gross, being followed home by two men who think eyecontact means attraction. Some people definitely need a wider perspective. Im glad you liked the article.

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      • I was astonished that they did that.

        I work with children and considering we teach them not to steal, name call, hit each other, etc, I don’t see why we can’t explicitly teach them not to rape or commit sexual abuse.

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  2. I think that the main problem with your and similar reasoning when trying to convince other people is, IMO, the fact that you define rape as “sex without consent” – however most people seem to associate rape with something else; i would also argue that the rape is taboo word exactly BECAUSE rape is thought to be something more than just “sex without consent” (from what I have read, it seems that most people think “rape” must involve violence, force, and malicious intent).

    I do not say “sex without consent” is something good! No, all “sex without consent” is bad and should be reduced.

    I merely point that just as we have different words for taking someone’s property against his will (stealing, robbery, cheating etc), and, while we know all of those are bad, we grade them on a “evilness” scale (similarly, we have words like “kill” and “murder”). Stealing and robbery are both bad, but we think robbery is worse than stealing. Similarly, all sex without consent is bad, but labeling all of it as rape just feels inappropriate, as it tries to fit all gray areas into a black and white issue. Saying “you are rapist” both to guy who had sex with drunken girl, thinking he had her consent, because she said yes, while both he and she were drunk[1] – and to a guy who beaten girl into a submission and used violence seems like saying both acts were equally abhorrent and both guys were equally evil, which is, at least in my opinion, not the case.

    It’s like we would start to apply word “torture” to all cases of physical abuse, so whether you’d shoved or hit someone, you would be called “torturer”. People would be arguing that “torture” means inflicting physical pain on people, so surely slapping someone’s face is a torture and we need to teach people not to torture others. Surely that would cause opposition to “teach men not to torture” classes, and not because people would be against slapping other people’s faces.

    [1] In one case of college rape i’ve read about, a girl initiated sex, she send messages to her friend saying “I am going to have sex!”, then pursued guy to his room, at no point indicated she did not want to have sex; Saying that this is equally bad as if the guy would drug her and then raped does not seem to help the cause of limiting harm done to women and men.

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    • I don’t know if it’s equally bad and no one says it is, but it is rape. Anyone in law enforcement and psychiatry knows that there is a spectrum of the same crimes. A serial killer is not a guy who shot one person but both are guilty of murder. In fact, there are recognized definitions of rape such as date, aggravated, etc. So that is already covered and understood by experts. We just need the average population to know.

      I am a victim of medical abuse but I have to stay hush about it, because the thing people do is start to minimize something that they don’t want to be held accountable over. Tone policing is a strategy. It doesn’t have to be Silence of the Lambs to be traumatizing. Most child molestation, for example, is not violent. I don’t think we need a softer term for rape, just an awareness of the grounds it actually covers.

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      • It’s not going to work. Either rape will stop have the same stigma as now (where it is acceptable for movie sympathetic characters to be torturers and murderers, but not to commit rape), or population will refuse to be educated.

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  3. Alright. But you really suggest an entirely new term for the same crime that differs only in degrees? That’s the start of relativization. Murder can come in several forms and it all goes under the umbrella term of murder. Carjacking and shoplifting are both theft. I think average people are capable of following this. We’ve just let taboos about sex mix with entitlement and that’s why we are behind reality.

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